Post Underbelly
by LivNel4ever
Summary: This takes place after Underbelly...Olivia's back...and self destructing.
1. Chapter 1

I could tell. I knew. I saw it. The touch, the look. She pulled out my moves. The stretch, the rubbing her neck…**THAT WAS MY MOVE!!** I tell Cragen I'm not ready to come back to work. Hya! Not, after that scene, my heart is on the floor. I can't even breathe let alone talk to him. I was planning on coming back; I couldn't wait to get started. I missed him so much. Missed everyone so much. I take the pussy way out, sneak out the back. I'm not ready to face him. He'll be able to read me like a book, just like I can read him.

I'm such an idiot! Damn that red head for putting these foolish ideas in my head that I'm in love with Elliot! I make stop at the local bar, I need to get wasted, and I need to get numb. I drown my sorrows in the drink that is front of me. I just want to cry. I refuse, _refuse _to cry. I drink instead, shots lots of them.

She's not even that pretty. I'm not one to boast, but I'm definitely prettier then her. I just can't help but wonder, why her? Why not…me? I motion to the bartender for another beer. I just want to forget. A stranger sits next to me. He looks like he is in his late 20's. I decide that I will take him home. I need someone to make me forget.

PoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLivPoorLiv

I wake up the next morning, my head is pounding. Where the hell am I? Ahhh…bits and pieces of last night go through my head. Elliot, his _partner _Blecky Bleck ack! What ever her name was I don't care. I look at the clock 10am. I should be starting work today. I carefully remove the unfamiliar arm that is around my waist. I can't believe I took home a stranger. I have been doing so well too! Oh well, one more to add to the list.

I walk out of the apartment, the cold air hits me and I shiver. I think I'm still drunk as I stumble down the street. I'm outside my apartment but I don't go in. Fuck it. I don't have anything to do; I head to the bar across from my apartment.

Crushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushedcrushed

"Elliot! Hey Elliot!" Casey called.

"Hey Case, what's up?"

"Nothing, have you seen Liv? We were supposed to go out last night and she never called, and then never answered her phone."

He stared at her like she was from out of space. "What? Liv? She's back?"

"Yeah she's back, you mean you didn't see her yesterday?"

"What? No." He shakes his head.

"She told me she was going to the station house to see you. She was excited about working again. You really didn't see her?" He turned and walked into Cragen's office, leaving Casey standing there.

"Elliot? What's up?"

"Liv. She's back?"

"Yeah I know. She came in yesterday."

"You didn't tell me?"

"She told me not too. That she would get in touch with you."

"When is she starting?"

"Not for a little bit. Came to tell me she needed some more time off."

Elliot shook his head. It didn't make sense. Casey said she was excited to start working. What could have happened to change her mind? He thought about yesterday. He looked out of Cragen's office to see Dani emerge from the bathroom. She knows.

You'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLivYou'reNotLiv

3 days later

"Cap, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah. What's up Elliot?"

"It's Liv. No one has heard from her since she came her four days ago."

"I'm sure she is fine Elliot. She's a big girl."

He nods his head.

"Have you been to her apartment?" Cragen asks.

"Twice. Nothing."

"Are you thinking we need to worry?"

"Nah. I'm sure she is fine." He said and walked out of his office.

SheCanNeverReplaceYouSheCanNeverReplaceYouSheCanNeverReplaceYouSheCanNeverReplaceYouSheCanNeverReplaceYouSheCanNeverReplaceYou

Olivia woke up in oblivion. Her head was spinning. At least she new where she was, home. She rolled out of bed and stepped on a bottle of beer. The past three days she can't remember. She drank them away. She didn't care. She grabbed a fresh beer from the fridge, looked over her apartment that was completely trashed. There were clothes on the floor of someone she took home, who? She had no idea. She had slept with countless guys in the past 3 days. She cracked open the beer, chugged it and hopped in the shower.

She got dressed, did her hair and looked in the mirror. She looked good, and she knew it. She headed across the street, her new home away from home.

"Hey Joe!" She said to the bartender.

"Olivia! What's up girly! You're late!" he teased and placed a beer in front of her.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

It had been 5 days since anyone had heard from Olivia. Elliot couldn't take it any longer. He knew why she was hiding, it was because of him. She was probably sleeping, reading books and taking baths, ignoring everyone. Well, she can't ignore me forever he thought as he placed the key in her apartment lock.

He opened the door and almost shat himself! Her apartment was trashed. He got scared that something happened to her. He had known Liv for 8 years, and in 8 years he had never seen a dish out of place in her apartment. He couldn't even step inside her apartment with out walking on something. What was going on with her?

He flipped open his phone, "Casey It's Elliot. Something is up with Liv. You need to help me find her."

EOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalwaysEOalways

Casey walked into the bar. She needed a drink after all the searching she had done today. The bar wasn't crowded, but there was a small group on the other side of the bar. She wondered what the commotion was about.

She guessed it was the girl whose back was to her. They seemed to be chanting, 'Drink! Drink! Drink!' at the woman.

"Damn Livy! You sure can drink. You wanna go smoke?" Some guy asked her.

She got up and headed out the side door.

"Elliot, It's Case. I found her." She said.

ILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIAILOVEOLIVIA


	2. 2 We're Best Friends

Chapter 2 We're Best Friends….

Elliot hung up his phone grabbed a few files and was about to head out when he bumped in to someone, "John, Casey found Liv; I'm going to get her. Sorry," He mumbled trying to get around the man.

"I'm looking for Detective Benson?" The man said to Elliot.

Elliot looked the man over wondering who the hell this guy was. The man sensing this, "I'm agent Porter," He held out his hand and shook it with Elliot's, "I was her case agent. I'm sorry did you say you, 'found' her?"

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah."

"I'm coming with you." The agent said not taking no for an answer.

Not wanting to waste anytime Elliot replied, "Fine."

WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot!WakeUpElliot

Elliot made it to the bar in 2.5 seconds.

"Casey! Where is she?"

"She outside, smoking! I didn't know Liv smoked did you? Who the hell is this guy?"

"She doesn't smoke!" Elliot said ignoring her question.

"I'm Agent Porter; I was Olivia's case agent in Oregon."

"Oh."

"What the hell is going on with Liv?" He asked the pair, in a pissed off tone.

They both shrugged. Elliot looked to the back door and saw Olivia walk in with two guys.

Casey and Elliot just stared at each other. This was not the Liv they knew. She looked so different. Her hair, it was longer, a little lighter, she looked hot, not that she didn't always. She also had about 3 guys drooling over her, 5 if you counted Elliot and agent Porter.

She was laughing at something the taller guy whispered in her ear. He could tell that she hammered. She didn't even see them standing there. She walked up to the bar.

"Livy! You up for another round?" The bartender Joe asked as he placed a fresh one on the bar.

"Joey, I love you!" Livy said and leaned over the bar and kissed Joey, then downed the drink.

Casey and Elliot just stared at each other. This was definitely not the Liv they knew.

Elliot started walking towards her, their eyes met instantly. He wanted to hug her, kiss her, ask her what the fuck she was doing at a bar at noon on Tuesday.

"Elliot." She said holding the stare.

The two guys that surrounded her looked Elliot up and down.

"You need me to take care of him Livy?" The one guy asked putting a protective hand on Liv's shoulder.

_What the Fuck! _Elliot thought?_ I take care of Liv…Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to her?_

"No, it's ok Johnny. This is my old co-worker." She said giving him an 'its ok smile' and patting his chest.

He was hurt, "Your 'old co-worker' Liv?" _What about partner? What about best friend?_

She saw Casey, and got up to give her a giant hug. "Casey!" She said holding her friend tight.

"Guys, I want you to meet my bestest friend Casey, Casey these are the guys, this is Johnny, Adam, and Joey." She said gesturing to her new set of friends.

Casey shook the guy's hands, and looked at Elliot like, WTF?

"Agent Porter? What brings you out of my neck woods?" She stumbled over her words as she walked over to him and hugged him, completely ignoring Elliot.

Elliot took Olivia by the arm and dragged her out of the bar. Casey followed, but not before winking at Adam, who was super cute!

"What the fuck is going on with you Olivia!?" Elliot yelled at her.

"Olivia, this is your _BEST FRIEND_? The partner you are _'IN SYNC'_ with?" Porter said. He never hated Elliot more how could he let her get like this? He shot Elliot the dirtiest look.

Elliot glared at him. He felt horrible; he didn't need this guy telling him what an awful friend he was.

"Whasta goun on--------------" What she said, and who she was talking too they had no idea. She passed out. Thank God Elliot was there to keep her from falling over. What scared him is that her eyes rolled in the back of her head.

"Casey! Casey! What do we do?" Elliot asked panicking.

She looked at him, shaking her head, "I don't know! Let's get her to her apartment!"

"Should we take her to the hospital?" Porter chimed in.

"I don't know! I don't know!" Casey was panicking too; Elliot saw the tears start to form in her eyes.

He picked Liv up, and they carried her to her apartment.

She started to vomit all over him on the way up the stairs.

"We have to get her in the tub." Elliot told Casey. She walked into the bathroom and started to run the bath water. She saw at least 4 beer bottles in the bathroom alone. She shook her head. How could Casey not see this coming? Why wasn't she there for her? Olivia was her best friend. How could she let her get this bad?


	3. 3 3musketeers

Chapter 3- 3Musketeers

Casey stripped Olivia's soiled clothes; while Elliot cleaned himself up a bit. With his help Casey placed her in the tub, he was trying not to look at her naked physique, but it was damn near impossible, for more reasons then he would like to admit. Neither Casey nor Elliot spoke a word. They were too worried to speak.

Elliot left the bathroom so Casey could wash Olivia. He needed to change himself. He walked into Olivia's bedroom thanking God that he let her borrow his clothes every now and again. He found a pair of his gray sweatpants, and his favorite hoodie. It was navy blue with white lettering that said NYPD on the front and _Stabler_ on the sleeve. It was her favorite hoodie as well. She would steal it every chance she got, he'd steal it back just the same. They never talked about it though. It sort of became a game for them 'Capture the Hoodie'. He had it in his locker when Olivia left for the FBI. When he called her cell phone and found out it was disconnected he went to his locker to see if it was there. It wasn't. She drew a smiley face on a post-it and placed it where the hoodie had been.

He walked out of Olivia's bedroom and sat on the couch next to Porter. Porter looked Elliot up and down. "You keep clothes here?" He asked raising his eyebrow.

Elliot didn't feel the need to respond to that question, "Why are you here?"

Porter put his lips together understanding that it was none of his business why Elliot's clothes were in Olivia's bedroom, "Can't say."

"How long are you here for?"

"Can't say."

Elliot smiled in frustration at the man. He hated those words, 'can't say'. He never wanted to hear them again. It was what Cragen told him when Liv went undercover. "So why are you here at Olivia's?"

"I wanted to make sure Liv was ok. You know cause of the death and all."

Elliot shook his head. He had no idea what he was talking about.

"Didn't she tell you?"

Elliot bowed his head, and said in just above a whisper, "Today was the first time I have seen her since she got back."

"Oh. Really? Huh. That's odd because she couldn't wait to get back to you..."

"She told you that?"

"Yeah. So you don't know about T-Bone?" Elliot shook his head, "Olivia made friends very quickly with the group. I mean why wouldn't she? She's the greatest," Elliot smiled that sounded like his Liv, "Anyways we had her staying with a girl named Red (a/n: someone has to know the redheaded girls name…until I find out, I call her Red) and a guy named T-Bone. The group named them the three musketeers, they were inseparable. They were hilarious together, I would see them out and about and all they did was laugh. When I would have our meetings, Liv would get so distracted talking about them instead of her assignments. She talked a lot about you too. Anyways, T-Bone died the day Liv got back to NY. Hit by a car during a protest. When I told her I think it killed her. I think she feels bad for Red too. As far as Red is concerned she lost two of her best friends with in 24 hours. I know Liv feels terrible about that, there is no way she wouldn't. I think she thought of T-Bone as you and Red as her-" He said pointing to the bathroom to indicate Casey, "I think that is why she is taking this so hard."

"Elliot." Casey said as she peeked out of the bathroom. "Can you get Liv some clothes, and then help me get her out of the tub?"

"Yeah." Elliot felt a rock in the pit of his stomach. God he was such an asshole, he thought to himself as he headed to Liv's room.

He heard Porter's cell phone ring and him mumble some words. Porter entered Olivia's room. "Listen Elliot, I'm not sure what is going on with you two, or even Liv for that matter, but she needs you. She cares a lot about you. I mean she is the only person I have ever met who went undercover and actually wanted to give themselves up so they could come back home. There's not a doubt in my mind that when she said 'home' she meant you."

He walked out the door with out another word. A single tear fell down Elliot's cheek. He wiped it away and headed to the bathroom.

Elliot picked Liv up out of the tub, as Casey put a robe over her and dried her off. Liv started to make some sounds but they were inaudible. Elliot picked her up and carried her to her bed where he laid her down and covered her up. He kissed her on the forehead and walked out to find Casey. She was in the bathroom cleaning up.

"Hey," He said leaning up against the door frame crossing his arms across his chest, "Go ahead and take off. I'll finish cleaning up."

"You sure?" Casey asked.

"Yeah."

"Call me when she wakes up?"

"You bet."

Casey placed a sympathetic pat on Elliot's shoulder and let herself out.

Elliot took a deep breath as he looked around Olivia's trashed apartment. He started to clean, room by room. All he could think about while cleaning was how awful it must have been for Liv to come back and lose a friend, and then see him with Dani. She must have felt like she lost 2 best friends. Then she must have thought of Red and felt like a terrible her friend herself.

Elliot could see inside her. He knew exactly how she was feeling. It killed him to know that he was part of the problem and not the solution. He threw a dirty rag at the wall in a fit of rage.

When he was all done and her apartment looked like he remembered it he went into Olivia's bedroom. She was still sleeping. He took a seat in her oversized chair that was next to her bed. He stretched his legs out and watched to make sure she was still breathing. She looked so peaceful when she slept; it wasn't before long that he too passed out into deep slumber.


	4. 4 Talking It Out

Chapter 4 Talking it out

I awake to the sound of my CD player. Owe. My head kills like no other. I struggle to open my eyes, the bright light hurts too much, and I close them immediately. I need water, lots of water. I roll over on my side trying to remember how the fuck I got in my bed. I wrack my brain for a minute or two with no luck. Right it off as a black out. Whatever I'm over it. I don't even care anymore. I'm turning into my mother. I'm a pathetic site. Another day I will put off calling Elliot or Casey for that matter. How did I become such a loser so fast? I thought I was over this stage in my life. I guess you are never too old to out grow it. No one should know that better then me, my mother was an alcoholic for Christ sake. How the hell did she do this for 30 some odd years? I need to clean up my act. I've had enough of this. I hate this song, it reminds me of…him, but I don't turn it off.

I turn over again, surprised that not Joey, Adam or Johnny was there. Or maybe they are? I try to focus my eyes on the figure that is laying on my chair next to my bed, I know that figure…"Elliot?" I say softly. He is sleeping, my eyes immediately begin to water. I lift up my upper body and stare at his sleepy figure. I comb my fingers through my hair.

I go to the bathroom to take care of business. Whilst there I brush my teeth and my hair as well. I look around my bathroom, it's clean. Now I know I didn't get so hammered that I cleaned my apartment. _Elliot_. I walk out and notice that he cleaned my entire apartment. I can't believe he did this. I go to the fridge to get a bottle of water. I definitely notice that he threw out all my beer. I sneak a peak in the Freezer, yup cleared that out too, I know I had at least 3 bottles in there, Vodka, Tequila and Captain Morgan's. I must have scared the shit out of him.

I walk back into my bedroom. Why is this song on again? I can't help myself I see him lying there and I want to lay with him. I see his eyes flutter open as I'm standing over him. He looks at me with puppy dog eyes; he stretches out his arms for me to fall into, which I do gladly. Right now I just need to be held.

I crawl into his lap and lay my head against his chest, I sob immediately. He holds me tighter rubbing circles on my back. We lay like this for what seems to be hours. Finally I speak, "Do you have this song on repeat or something?" I say with a smile.

"You scared me Liv, you really scared me. You can't do this, you can't do this to me, but more importantly you can't do this to yourself." He says to me as he caresses my hair with his hands.

"I fell apart El. I felt like I lost everything. My world just came crashing down on me in a matter of hours." I opened up to him, told him everything about Oregon, about Red and T-Bone dying. I told him the guilt I was feeling over Hope who I called Red, and how she must be going crazy with out both of us. It hurts me to think of her. I tell him how T-Bone reminded me of him, and when I found out T-Bone was dead, all I wanted to do was hold him. I told him how I went to the precinct to find him, and how I found about him and Dani. I told him my biggest fear that I thought I had been replaced, not only as his partner, but as his best friend, and that is when he said it:

"We're more then best friends Liv and you know it. Dani, that was just... shit Liv I have no idea what that was. The biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. If I knew for a second how much it would have hurt you, I never would have…" He looked at me, directly in the eyes, "I never want to be the source of your pain Liv." He kissed the top of my forehead, and pulled me in closer to him. He sings softly into in my ear.

_**This time, This place **_

_**Misused, Mistakes **_

_**Too long, Too late **_

_**Who was I to make you wait **_

_**Just one chance **_

_**Just one breath **_

_**Just in case there's just one left **_

_**'Cause you know, **_

_**you know, you know **_

_**I love you **_

_**I have loved you all along **_

_**And I miss you **_

_**Been far away for far too long **_

_**I keep dreamin you'll be with me **_

_**and you'd never go **_

_**Stop breathing if **_

_**I don't see you anymore **_

_**On my knees, I'll ask **_

_**Last chance for one last dance **_

_**'Cause with you, I'd withstand **_

_**All of Hell to hold your hand **_

_**I'd give it all **_

_**I'd give for us **_

_**Give anything, but I won't give up **_

_**'Cause you know, **_

_**you know, you know **_

_**That I love you **_

_**I have loved you all along **_

_**I miss you **_

_**Been far away for far too long **_

_**I keep dreamin you'll be with me **_

_**and you'd never go **_

_**Stop breathing if **_

_**I don't see you anymore **_

_**So far away **_

_**So far away **_

_**far away for far too long **_

_**So far away **_

_**So far away **_

_**far away for far too long **_

_**But you know, you know, you know **_

_**I wanted **_

_**I wanted you to stay **_

_**'Cause I needed **_

_**I need to hear you say **_

_**I love you **_

_**I have loved you all along **_

_**And I forgive you **_

_**For being away for far too long **_

_**So keep breathing **_

_**'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore **_

_**Believe it **_

_**Hold on to me,and never let me go **_

_**Keep breathing **_

_**'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore **_

_**Believe it **_

_**Hold on to me and, never let me go **_

_**Keep breathing **_

_**Hold on to me, never let me go **_

_**Keep breathing **_

_**Hold on to me, never let me go. **_

**A/N: Ok guys…should this be the end of the story or should I continue? I think this is a good ending point…but if you guys want more---well I have to give the people what they want!**


End file.
